We're Probably Not Ok!
We're Probably Not Ok!
Failure | Blade Don't Want to be Beans! | Episode 60
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Have you ever found humor in the chaos of life's ups and downs? Well, settle in as we take you on a whirlwind tour of our mental well-being escapades! From David's anxiety-ridden adventures in Portuguese real estate to our unexpected detours thanks to Hurricane Helen, we weave through stories of job security and the quirky comforts of our camaraderie. Our Louisville trip was memorable for more than just supporting David's stepson; it was a reminder that sometimes, laughter is the best way to weather life's storms.
Our taste buds took a wild ride at Hammerheads, where we chomped down on a rare elk burger with Brie, prompting a spirited discussion on game meats and fursonas. As if that wasn't enough, we ventured into the labyrinthine Sergio World Beers, a hidden sanctuary of global brews that felt like a haunted house for beer enthusiasts. These culinary capers, coupled with our musings on the furry subculture, brought a humorous twist to our culinary storytelling, making us question if it's normal to get lost in a beer maze.
Amidst all the laughter, we also reflect on the serious side of life's challenges. Personal stories of navigating career pitfalls, balancing parenthood, and celebrating victories like Ryan's black belt achievement are shared candidly, wrapped in our brand of humor and heart. Whether it's the caffeinated ramen debate or ghost-hunting in video games, we're here to remind you that embracing unpredictability with humor can illuminate the little victories and strengthen our bonds. So, grab your Boost Noodles, and join us for a rollercoaster of resilience, laughter, and camaraderie.
I mean the AI did make sure to talk about Boost Noodles. I'll give it that.
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These three gentlemen take mental well-being seriously but are not serious. They'd rather swear and make irreverent jokes. Now that you know the Healy Macon Mints.
Speaker 2:Hello and welcome to another episode of we're Probably Not Okay, the podcast that makes fun of mental well-being. See, no one told you life was going to be this way. I'm your host for this episode, brandon Full, and with me and with all of us is Point.
Speaker 1:I think that's me. Is that me, Brandon? Okay?
Speaker 2:I pointed to the other guy.
Speaker 3:Your very best friend Ryan Brown. It's funny because we're in a different order on every screen.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, we really got to figure it out for each other. Like I'm going to put a sticker like this says Brandon's Ryan and Ryan's Brandon on my computer. Oh my gosh. So I know Getting into some super string theory.
Speaker 2:Wait wait, wait.
Speaker 1:Am I below each of you?
Speaker 3:Yes, you're below me. You're this way. Yeah, you're down here.
Speaker 1:Okay, so I'm always down. So if you ever, if either of you point in a direction that's not down, you're pointing at each other. Yeah, so now I know it's easy for me. I'm the basement boy. So I'm down here and I hashtag basement boy and I am the basement boy, aka David Musgrave, your co-host for the show. We're probably not okay, basement boy.
Speaker 2:I was just thinking if I could switch bodies with Brian for one day. Like Brian, if you and I switch bodies like our brains were in in each other's bodies, I think I would do 20 push-ups.
Speaker 1:Just to see what that's like.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just to see what doing 20 push-ups Without getting winded would be like.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'd pick up something real heavy, just so I felt Fuck. Yeah, just so I felt cool.
Speaker 2:I'd pick up a big, heavy rock and just hurl it into the water off a bridge. Oh yeah, that would feel awesome, wouldn't it?
Speaker 1:And then just look around and be like did you see that?
Speaker 3:But no one ever does. Yeah, too old to be a pro wrestler? Just the right age to help you move. That's how I look at it.
Speaker 1:Nice.
Speaker 2:So it's been a while, guys, we haven't recorded and I mean we did the episode, david, you did the episode where you kind of had to do it by yourself that came out. What was that like a week ago, week and a half ago now?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was probably about a week and a half to two weeks ago. Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 2:And before that it was a couple of weeks. That it was a couple weeks. So, anyway, it's been a while. I'm glad to be back and I think you guys are glad to be back as well, right, yeah?
Speaker 1:I love podcasting very much. Absolutely, I missed you both.
Speaker 2:Me too so let's do our patented mental wealth, hellness, no, no hold on hold on hold on brandon.
Speaker 3:Did you say mental? Did you say mental wealth? Hellness, I sure did.
Speaker 1:Well, that's what it's called now, right.
Speaker 2:Our mental wealth. Hellness check-in.
Speaker 3:I just pictured a bunch of gold treasure in hell yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I like that, though it's very Tolkien-esque.
Speaker 1:Welcome to MWH. I like it. It works.
Speaker 2:Who wants to give us their MWH first? Who wants to skeet their day onto us?
Speaker 1:I am ready to skeet, Brandon, if I may Skeet skeet, which is the polite thing to do once skeets is ask permission.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you need the consent first, of course.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. My mental health has been pretty decent. I have found myself in a pretty good place again I think I talked about this last time where you know, job's doing pretty well. It's been. It's been very stressful and very busy, but it is like, oh yeah, I keep remembering I work for a decent company and decent people and they're not out to get me at least not yet. And so that you know, finding some security in that, I still, every single day, I get a message like hey, david, I need to talk to you real quick. Oh, shoot, I'm getting fired. Still have that thought every day, but it doesn't happen. And, uh, you know, things are good there. So, as we all know, a lot of my mental wellbeing is uh, uh. My mental wealth is tied to um, is tied to my job, so things are going well there.
Speaker 1:I've picked up my side gig with um, with the Portugal. Uh, real estate, real estate again. Um, that's going a little bit better than it did the first time. Still, we'll see if anything comes from that, but kind of doing that some and that feels good to be trying to, you know, push something forward with that, uh, and other than that, uh, everything's pretty good. We just went to, um, we just went to louville, uh, kentucky, to do parents weekend at my stepson's college, uh, university of Louisville, go Cardinals and that was fun. Uh, we hung out with him, uh, went to some interesting restaurants and, and, uh, you know, just had a good time and got him some supplies and made sure he's good and doing his thing and he is, he seems to be doing decently well and yeah.
Speaker 1:So the weird thing about that is, as you all probably know, hurricane Helen hit the North Carolina not just North Carolina, but in particular, for this story hit North Carolina mountains pretty hard and Tennessee border pretty hard. Story hit North Carolina mountains pretty hard, uh, and Tennessee border pretty hard, um, and the route that we would normally take to to get there, uh, does not exist literally right now. The roads don't exist, a lot of the towns along the way no longer exist. Um, they all got flooded and trashed and it's really kind of sad. There's some special places to to care and it's really kind of sad.
Speaker 1:There's some special places to cure and I like Lake Lure and a couple other places up there that just got trashed. It's just weird to think that they're not there, at least not it may never be again, at least not in the way that we knew them. So that's kind of weird. We had to drive. Instead of going that way, we had to drive all the way up into Charleston, west Virginia, and do the whole turnpike and then go west through Huntington and then into Kentucky that way. So luckily it didn't add a ton of time to the trip, but was definitely weird.
Speaker 2:You said you went to some interesting restaurants.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we went to a place called hammerheads which, um, it's basically like this little basement Literally it's like in the basement of a house, um and that was interesting. It was great food. Um, we had an elk burger, um, with Brie on it. Um, got a cooked medium rare and it was rare rare, so got to just gnaw on some. It's like going out in the woods and biting an elk.
Speaker 2:Uh, in a good way, something we've all dreamed of and now, I know the sensation I love elk burgers, though, so freaking good. Heck yeah, you've had it before. I've never had this before.
Speaker 1:Elk is delicious man. Have you had venison? What does?
Speaker 3:it taste like? No, I am possessed of exclusively pedestrian tastes.
Speaker 1:We need to fix this. This is why we need to live close to each other, because I would cook you up an elk burger tomorrow.
Speaker 2:David will choke out an elk with his hands. Hell yeah, just to the ground. And then lightly with its eyes and then it'll make you a delicious burger out of it, and rend its flesh with my hands and it'll be like the opening scene from return of the king.
Speaker 3:When it's like that, particularly visceral, like like choking scene, only with David and an elk, yeah, give us the meats, precious See.
Speaker 1:This is why I wish we had more fans, Because you know there'd be some fan art of that shit after this episode and I want to see that and because we're empirically hilarious and do good work.
Speaker 3:Well, that as well. Also another reason yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that too.
Speaker 3:At the base of the comment, but I mean yes, I also would like some weird fan art.
Speaker 1:But for the fan arts, if I'm being honest, that's really yeah, yeah can one of our listeners draw our fursonas? That'd be great yeah, I would love that. Um, you don't even have to draw. Well, it does not have to be good, in fact, if it's not, sometimes that's better. Um, sometimes that's better, yeah, so, yeah, some I don't think I'd have a fursona.
Speaker 2:I think I'd be a scaly, I'd be a dragon.
Speaker 3:Oh, is that not, I guess? So I assume there's probably. I know nothing about furry culture. I assume there's some delineation between.
Speaker 2:You got the furries and you got the scalies. The scalies live at the top of the mountains and the furries and you got the scalies. The scalies live at the top of the mountains and the furries live in the forest down in the woods and sometimes in the caves they're all part of the same subculture right yeah they are okay.
Speaker 3:I don't know much about that yeah, I don't either. Yeah me, neither do you yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't either. Yeah me neither.
Speaker 2:Do you or do you not have a furry tail in your behind currently?
Speaker 3:That's a damning non-answer.
Speaker 2:So anything else with your mental wealth. Hellness David, my good friend.
Speaker 1:I was trying to think if I went to any other interesting restaurants that are notable. Oh, we also had Duck Tacos that were at Hammerheads, where?
Speaker 2:else did we go?
Speaker 1:Kira, what other restaurants did we go Live in?
Speaker 2:your best culinary life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, and then we went to an Irish pub, not as notable, but we went to this place called Sergio World Beers. That was a trip. I'm going to put together a little video. We tried to record in there but they kept coming and interrupting us. So I'm going to try to put together a video montage of what we did and maybe I'll post that to our channel or something.
Speaker 1:But, dude, this place, it looked like an abandoned building. In the front of it, a very small abandoned building. You go in, there's a big building in the front of it very small abandoned building. You go in, there's like a big bar in the front that looked like it was built in somebody's den and there's like some beer cases and then there's like a flag that's like covering a back room. I'll keep this story short, but you would think that that was it.
Speaker 1:But then the lady was like they had 50 beers on tap, which is kind of crazy in and of itself, really good, like belgian style beers and stouts, which those are like our favorite beers. And then the lady's like can I show you around? I'm like I can see, thanks. But then we're like sure, whatever. So she takes us to this back room where there's just like somebody's fridge full of all these latin american beers. And then we go back and like this place used to be a restaurant so there's all these booths and like more coolers, and then like a walking cooler with all these belgian beers, and then like another hallway with beer coolers on both sides and you think that'd be it. No, behind another flag is another hallway full of like coolers of beer. Beer was tucked everywhere in this place. It's like this dark, dingy old house. It felt like a haunted house, but instead of ghosts it was beer. It was weird man.
Speaker 2:Like a beer labyrinth.
Speaker 1:It was a beer labyrinth. It was very much like Beer labyrinth meets homespun, a haunted house, your neighbors, you go to trick-or-treat at your neighbors. Beer Labyrinth meets homespun Haunted House, your neighbors, you go to trick-or-treat at your neighbors. Yeah, exactly it happened. There's flags covering each section, so you think you're done. It's almost like walking through a haunted house and you have to push your way through plastic sheets and shit. It's like beer. There's so much beer. It was terrifying. I loved it.
Speaker 3:I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1:But yeah.
Speaker 3:Hey guys, you guys hang on just one second. Yeah, give me one second.
Speaker 1:We'll talk about haunted beer. Some more. Take your time, man. Yeah, boo.
Speaker 2:Ooh, haunted beer, haunted beer. Are you going to go into any haunted houses this holiday?
Speaker 1:We don't have any plans for haunted houses this year, which is kind of sad. I'd love to go to a good haunted house. We're going to go to the Rin Fair, hopefully in a week or so.
Speaker 2:You bastard, I want to go to a Rin Fair. Come to North Carolina, you're welcome to go to the Wren Fair. Hopefully in a week or so, you bastard, I want to go to a Wren Fair.
Speaker 1:Come to North Carolina. You're welcome to tag along.
Speaker 2:Come to the coast, have a few laughs.
Speaker 1:We're not on the coast, but hey.
Speaker 2:I was trying to do a diehard thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, come to Charlotte. They said Come to 100, else they said Come to a haunted house. They said that's my Bruce Willis, I guess. Yeah, I've seen worse. Welcome back. We're talking about Bruce Willis, thank you.
Speaker 3:That's fun.
Speaker 1:Going to a haunted house, yeah.
Speaker 2:So tell me, Ryan.
Speaker 3:How are you? How have you been buddy? Uh, not great, but I have a funny story that I want to tell you guys. Yes, so get, okay. So, um, I wanted to tell you this in person, because telling it via text would have been I feel like it would have made it less funny.
Speaker 3:Um, okay, so my youngest willow is in the color guard and in, uh, in high school, and the color guard is like the people who go out with the band at football games and they tore all the flags around. They do like these elaborate routines and stuff like that and um, and they're basically like lumped in with the band as far as like organization stuff goes. So, uh, the other day and so, and so I have to go to like all the football games which, by the way, guys I don't know if you guys know this football is fucking boring. I can't believe like people sit and watch this and prefer it to pro wrestling because like nobody comes back from the dead, nobody's got powers, nobody can time travel, nobody like runs in at the last minute to steal the football.
Speaker 1:Like this is bullshit wait anyway before you continue. I'm so sorry. I think you may have just created something, though you know how they tried to do that, like x football league or whatever the thing is. They took it too seriously. They should have made it a little more like pro wrestling, where all of the things you just described happen. Instead, they they would have been billionaires. That sounds like the cool I would watch like some kind of like future, post-apocalyptic sports, like they actually did that there was a thing that was called mutant league football.
Speaker 3:You remember this, Brandon? It was like a game series.
Speaker 1:Wasn't that a Sega game?
Speaker 3:It was. It was a Sega game and it was also an animated series about monsters that play football.
Speaker 2:And then it kind of turned into that board game that you can play. Now I can't remember what it's called.
Speaker 1:That's right. I actually have seen that. I think it's just called Mutant League Football. But they need to do a live-action version of that where they try to pretend it's real. That would be amazing. Yeah, like with national teams and shit Go ahead. Can I pitch?
Speaker 2:something real quick.
Speaker 1:Yes, and then let's let Ryan get back to his funny story. Go ahead, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:Okay, sorry, ryan. Football game Guy dies on the field. Football game guy dies on the field. Everybody mourns it and then the camera is there to like show after the funeral, the lights go down and then you see the guy's hand reach up and grab a football yes, yes, and it's a football that was fumbled into the end zone, so it scores a touchdown.
Speaker 3:Yay, you think, you know.
Speaker 1:That's it, yeah. And then he and then he. They go to do the extra point and he pushes the kicker aside and kicks it and his foot flies off with the football. Both go over. They give him extra points for the foot as well. Writes itself. Writes itself yeah, I mean this is all great. It's all great, ryan, you had a funny story you were telling.
Speaker 3:I think it's. I think the moment has passed no, no, we need it.
Speaker 1:Please don't I. I really want to hear this. I feel so rude and bad. If you don't tell the story, I will quit the podcast because I I have done you dirty.
Speaker 3:If that's the case, Um, okay, so we were, uh, the game was over and I, or no, it was like halftime or something. And um, I go down and I see, uh, I go down and see willow like between there after their set and stuff like that or whatever it's called I don't know what it's called, it might be called the set um, and I'm just like talking like hey, how you doing is you think it's going well out there, blah, blah, just like you know being supportive dad. And then this little guy walks up. He like a little he was probably like yeah, he was probably younger than willow like a, a like prototypical band. He was like this short, skinny, like braces, a little a little dollop of acne and glasses and like the tall hat and everything. And he comes over and is like hey, willow, and Willow just fixes him with a patented Willow hard stare, like a like no, no emotion, and then just goes beans and the guy then walks away.
Speaker 3:And so after that I'm like I like look back to Willow and I'm as though to be like you need to explain what just happened. And so Willow, and Willow was like oh, everybody, that kid's beans because he's really annoying. And I was like does he want to be called beans and she was like he's fine with it. And I was like, okay, if he's fine with it. Like don't be calling people stuff they don't want to be called. And Willow was like nah, he's fine with it. And I said, do you know his real name? And Willow was like yeah, I was like yeah.
Speaker 3:I was like okay, what's his real name? And, guys, I swear to God my hand to Superman, willow says, without missing a beat, His real name is Blade. And I was like hold on what. I was like what, okay, he does not want to be Beans. Then, like so many jokes just flooded my brain.
Speaker 3:Like not, one couldn't get out. And so I was like like the kickboxing vampire. And Willow was like yeah, yeah, like Blade from Marvel. And I was like does he know about Blade from Marvel? Like does he know? Like the kickboxing vampire? And Willow was like yeah, yeah, like Blade from Marvel. And I was like does he know about Blade from Marvel? Like does he know about the kickboxing vampire? And Willow was like I don't think he does and I was like wait, does he choose to be called Beans?
Speaker 3:And Willow was like no, I mean, everybody just calls him Beans and he just kind of rolls with it and I'm like, yeah, no, what Like?
Speaker 1:his parents named him Blade, I assume ironically, like as a bit. Because they knew what hell he was going to go through in high school. So they were trying to at least give him Blade Just like fucking like genetically.
Speaker 3:Like you know, one of them has to at least look a little bit like him right, yeah, yeah yeah, because they had to know what they were going to get. Yeah, and they were like you know what this kid needs. We need to reverse boy name, Sue him. We need to give him the hardest, most badass name possible after a kickboxing vampire.
Speaker 2:And I was like so I gave you that name so people would shit when they heard your name.
Speaker 1:So vampires would be afraid of you. What's your name? Oh, my name's storm runner, storm runner blade master, but it was bled blade, that's.
Speaker 3:That's badass, yeah and yeah, and so I was like uh, I was like well, but will even said like dad, if you saw that kid and I said his name is either beans or blade, like which one would you think it was? I was like no, I mean yeah, obviously. Yeah, I mean he looks like a beans blade.
Speaker 1:Don't want to be blade don't want to be beans, baby.
Speaker 3:Well, I think he kind of did like it's. It's kind of a situation where, like if I I don't know maybe he resents his badass name, which I can't imagine.
Speaker 3:I can't imagine that no, and yet there it was like right, and I just sort of stood there like in awe of this entire exchange that just took place and then also the one that I had too, and I was like I just, and I was, you know, there's there's been on more than one occasion I thought to myself like and then I do my kids dirty by like giving them, giving them kind of like a little bit weird names, but then I was like nah, nah. No, my kids are not named Blade.
Speaker 1:No, your kids have perfectly awesome names.
Speaker 3:Yeah, other than that, I did get into a fist fight with my clothes dryer the other day. Oh dude About it.
Speaker 1:I definitely thought that sentence was going to end a little earlier than it did, and I thought we were in for an even better story than the bean story. That was going to be tough to do.
Speaker 3:No, I know my, my, my, my was doing laundry and my clothes dryer was doing this thing. There's. There's obviously something fucking wrong with it. What it is don't know, but it's been beeping just randomly like as the clothes are drying. But here's the thing that sucks shit for real. It's beeping arrhythmically like it's not like beep, beep, beep. It's like beep, beep beep, beep.
Speaker 3:Beep and I was like oh my God, and I couldn't figure out what was causing it. And it was like a straw that broke the camel's back kind of situation. Sure, I just fucking decked it, I just hauled off and just smashed it with my fist and I'm pretty sure I did some damage to myself, but it stopped me. It stopped me, that's what I was hoping for.
Speaker 1:I did some damage to myself, but it stopped me. That's what I did, that's what I said.
Speaker 3:I was telling that story to my coworkers this morning and I so I said Fonzie, did you know? But Fonzie was. It was more of like a precise, a controlled explosion, you know not not an act of fury, but an act of assertion, an assertion of dominance. Mine was just like you and punch yeah but it worked, it's funny, let that be a lesson listeners.
Speaker 1:It's funny when in doubt hit it yeah, absolutely, when that applies to a lot of situations. It's kind of funny that you said that too, because, um, or it's kind of funny that you said that too, because or it's kind of funny when you lean back and I saw a Vault Boy on your shirt, because I was about to say that sounds kind of like an experiment that Vault-Tec would do, like make appliances that make arrhythmic beeping. Just to see how long it took to drive the uh occupants of the vault insane.
Speaker 3:So turns out not long yeah, yeah, uh, but that was just the other day. Um, other than that, I feel like there was something else I wanted to tell you guys, but I can't remember what it was. Um, do you guys see this? Like, look at this, I got this extra line of black here, you see? This is that new I've never noticed it before. See this, it's like I got my usual thing going on, but it's like this extra?
Speaker 1:that would be weird if you like, went like reverse gray, like that was gray, and then it decided to go back to north because I don't know that I've noticed that either not to go back to north because I don't know that I've noticed that either not me either, and it's just.
Speaker 3:I don't know if it's just the light in here or what you know what?
Speaker 1:something I have noticed on my beard, though, lately is that my mustache is seems like it's getting darker and that like gets darker down into here, like you see how this part is like goes down further darker. I've never noticed that about myself and I just know. Maybe there's like some kind of natural phenomenon happening to to men's facial hair across the world I don't know, some sort of facial hair cryptid yes, brandon, have you noticed anything unusual about?
Speaker 3:your facial hair weird not particularly now that is weird.
Speaker 1:Now that you mentioned it, right, I don't know that I remember what I wanted to tell you guys.
Speaker 3:This is great. So, uh, over the weekend, um, I had nobody here with me, like my uh kids were off doing stuff and uh, my wife had some conversation she was speaking at, and so I was by myself and hey, that's not great, that's not great for me mentally speaking. It's like, hey, there's nothing to do, there's nothing for you to do, and you're just going to be alone and stare into the middle distance. So that was bad. So my coworkers were like, come hang out with us. And I was like, well, I guess I don't have a reason not to. And so I did. And I don't know if you've ever hung out with drunk therapists.
Speaker 3:I can't say that, no, but they tried to do drunk therapy to you this sounds right yeah, no, it was great because, I mean, the majority of the people I work with are therapists. And so, like they were all, like you know, going out and they had some uh, they had, they imbibed some spirits, as Dickens might say and then I guess it dawned on at least one of them like hey, we don't know anything about you, like you're super mysterious and don't tell anybody anything, and I was like yep. And so then they were like well, let's try and therapize him. And I was like ha ha, ha ha, I've destroyed therapists. I made my last therapist cry. I'm so close to winning therapy. I'm so close.
Speaker 1:You're always there, yeah.
Speaker 3:I know.
Speaker 1:I have a question. I'm assuming they didn't peer pressure you into imbibing yourself.
Speaker 3:Oh, no, Okay, Fun fact for our listeners if I haven't mentioned it before I drank alcohol before.
Speaker 1:Right, which is why I made that assumption. It would have been buck wild if that was the first night you chose to try, like you know, getting a little loose, because then you would have told them more than you would have wanted to, I'm sure.
Speaker 3:Or my greatest fear I would have like, because the reason I've never drank is because pretty much everybody in my family who drinks they flip out and turn into a rage monster and I was like, oh, that doesn't sound fun at all. Yeah, that would not be good, so more statistically likely, I would have gotten drunk and, like, flipped over a table and, you know, challenged someone to a fight.
Speaker 1:Yeah, genetically speaking probably smart not to.
Speaker 3:So, but anyway, what about you, Brandon? How are you doing?
Speaker 2:Well, let me look at my notes here. I started a new job.
Speaker 1:Are we supposed to take notes? Yeah, are we supposed to be taking notes? I haven't been taking notes.
Speaker 2:No, these are my notes for my mental check-in, right, but that's what I mean. That's what I mean.
Speaker 1:Are we supposed to come prepared for their mental?
Speaker 3:Yeah, because I basically am just like. I'm going to remember to tell a funny story later.
Speaker 2:I do it because I won't remember the specific things I want to talk about, and then afterwards because I have that habit of just like when I go to therapy. When somebody asks me how I'm doing, I'm like I'm fine, even if I'm not fine and things have been going crazy. So I write it down, so I remember to talk about it. That's awesome. But yeah, you guys do need to bring notes next time and I'm disappointed that you didn't shit. Okay, so you're gonna have to do 10 hail marys and slap yourself with a ruler a couple times I mean the ruler part.
Speaker 1:Consider that done.
Speaker 3:I that's punishment fits the crime pretty, pretty par for the course.
Speaker 2:But I don't know how to hail Mary, take the ring.
Speaker 1:Go ahead.
Speaker 2:Sorry, All right. So I started a new job and I left the job already because the job sucked and it was difficult to do, because I really was getting paid very well for this job and it was something in my field of interest. I don't want to get into it just because it's a pretty well-known big company in this local area so I'm not trying to. It's amazon, whatever it's amazon I was working for jeff bezos fuck you bezos, hey bezos, get fucked I don't think.
Speaker 3:I don't think enough is made of the fact that his last name is Bezos, which is Spanish for kisses, Like why aren't we calling him Jeffy?
Speaker 1:Kisses or something. Jeff Smooch, so cute, jeff Smooch, yeah, mr.
Speaker 3:Smoochie, I love it. Old Jeffrey Smooch.
Speaker 1:Old Jeffrey Smooch is pretty great.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, I haven't found a new job in the meantime I did since we recorded last. I also had a birthday, I turned 40, so I I rolled into turning 40, unemployed and single, living with a cat brain, it just don't look at it I'm trying not to. I'm trying to bring some optimism to my life, but it's difficult. It's just like a big black hole staring me in the face just don't look at it. I'm slowly getting pulled towards it.
Speaker 1:I'm like, oh no, oh no just don't look, yeah yeah, I think you're awesome if it helps, and I'm being sincere as hell I'm glad I made it to 40.
Speaker 2:I'm relatively happy with what I'm doing, outside of the fact that I don't have a job right now. That sucks, but like I like my apartment, I like living with my cat. I don't have my daughter as much as I'd like because of some behind the scenes stuff, but I still see her pretty regularly. So like I like my life for the most part. But there are certain things I would like to change, certain things I would like fixed.
Speaker 3:Yeah Well and you've got time to fix it, you know.
Speaker 1:I will say that's that is very true. You do have time to fix it, and the fact that you can say all of that stuff leading up to it is really what's fucking important anyway. Yeah, that's the hard part, in my opinion. You can get a job that is relatively easy and pays really super well, and you could still be fucking miserable. That's the story of a lot of people. So if you could just get that last little piece of security, then you're you half the battle's already won, man that's how this job was it.
Speaker 2:It was good money, but, man, I just could not fucking do it. I was so unhappy. Every day like it's. It had been years and years since I've had a job where, literally, I would be driving to work, thinking I wonder how hurt I would be if I just crashed my car so I didn't have to go to work.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, you know so again, we we had that exact same conversation when I was at my last job, with old johnny duck quack um, making me miserable every single day, and not to mention other people. The more hindsight I have of that place and I I've actually made a I've made a new friend at my work now who I have a lot of things in common with and has a very similar background, has worked at similar companies to what I have, and the more I talk to him and reflect on what was bad about my last job dude, that place was sucking my soul.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So you don't want that. I'm glad that you, I'm gonna be honest and this is just me. You know me being a true friend who will speak the truth to your face. I was sad. I was sad that you had to quit because, you know, I felt like really good for you and there were a couple times where, like hey, you know, just use them, get the money, do what you gotta do, do, do what you got to do. Yeah, but it was obviously getting to the point where that was going to be a toxic situation and you, your mental health was definitely going to decline over time with that place.
Speaker 2:So I'm glad I was trying to, I really was trying to just stick it out yeah like there's a lot of bullshit I can deal with, but whenever I'm talked down to like yeah like I I'm hired to do a job, I'm paid well to do a job, and then I'm talked down to like I've never fucking touched a keyboard before.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That's ridiculous.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I would punch a motherfucker Like you're probably. They're lucky you didn't do that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, I actually had an experience similar to that. Well, I just found out about this today.
Speaker 2:In fact, a manager got shitty with me for a minute and I was diplomatic about it and then went about my business and then one of my coworkers was like to our manager was like we don't talk to Ryan that way. Nice, yeah, that's awesome, I like that. But yeah, that's all I've got as far as my mental wealth hellness check-in. Let's get into the.
Speaker 1:Can we just call it hellness? Hellness is good too. Hellness is cool, let's get into some hellness it does kind of sound like. Hellman's, though. Sorry, I'm stepping all over your transition.
Speaker 3:Just fucking Winnie the Pooh in a jar of mayonnaise.
Speaker 1:Oh, I do like some mayo. What the fuck was that?
Speaker 2:Is this a new character?
Speaker 3:Winnie the Pooh, but he's with mayonnaise instead of honey.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 3:The jar is misspelled like the honey jar. Yes that's correct I panicked.
Speaker 1:I actually do a decent Winnie the Pooh when I don't try, but when I try it's not good. So that was Schminnie the Pee.
Speaker 2:It was like pee with your brain off.
Speaker 1:Schminnie the P, that was like two of his brainwaves, schminney the P, when he eats jars of mayo. He loves it, can't get enough of it. Yeah, I'm done. Okay, go ahead.
Speaker 2:Am I okay to introduce the topic now? Yeah, I know All right, the topic this time is failure, and I want to start with this. I sent you guys the questions ahead of time so you had a little bit of time to think on them, because I know sometimes at least for me I get a question, I'm like shit, I don't know. So here's the big question. First, what is something you feel like you have failed at? It's a tough one. It might get serious.
Speaker 1:Oh no, you pointed at basement, boy, basement boy.
Speaker 3:Hashtag B-boy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you pointed at the old B-boy. What is something that I failed at? Creative endeavors, making that a living in my, in my life, uh, instead of just a pastime or hobby, uh, is one big thing that I failed at. It could be said that I failed at two marriages, but, um, I really like to. I was joking earlier, thinking about these questions. I was joking with Kira and I would rather pose that as I failed at marrying the right woman, because it took me a couple times to do that and in the end I didn't fail at that.
Speaker 2:So that's, I guess maybe we can't even claim that, uh well, that's going to lead into some one of my questions later. Oh my god, as far as like, uh, if you feel like you've improved on something, like you failed but then succeeded later on with something.
Speaker 1:But anyway, we'll get it then I'll save that um and say that following my dreams. I failed at following my dreams. 99.9% of humans fail at this, but I am one of them, and that's the biggest thing that you know. I kind of thought maybe I wouldn't. I'd be one of the 0.1 people that didn't, so we'll roll with that and kick it over to Ryan.
Speaker 3:Oh, 0.1 people that didn't, so we'll, we'll, just we'll roll with that and kick it over to Ryan. Oh, um, well, um, I feel like I've failed at most thing in my life honestly, like I consider myself largely a failure. Um, I mean pretty much everything I've ever really attempted to do, or whether it's you know, relationships or, like you were saying, david, with marriages, or anything really Like I, I don't think I, yeah, I think I, I largely think, think about it in that capacity, yeah, uh, you, just you.
Speaker 2:You feel like you've just kind of failed at most things at life, more or less yeah so what is why? Why do you think you've failed like what is?
Speaker 1:what about?
Speaker 2:it is screams failure to you or says failure to you.
Speaker 3:Oh, I mean just mostly, and I recognize some things are in control.
Speaker 3:You know like, obviously, like we're stuck in the, you know, the terminal stages of capitalism and whatnot and that tends to limit people's ability to be upwardly mobile or have fulfilling lives and stuff like that. So I recognize some things are outside of my control, but I don't know. Just kind of like what David was was kind of saying a little bit too about, like you know, being in bad relationships, but then also too, it's like whenever you've had so many bad relationships in a row, you know what I mean. It's like, okay, there is a common thread here and unfortunately it's me.
Speaker 3:Um, and then you know, I mean I didn't, uh, you know, I mean I didn't, I don't know like I, I haven't been able to provide the life that I wanted to be able to provide for my kids. Yeah, and that sucks, shit. Like my son grew to adulthood without ever having a bedroom at my house, so that sucks and I, I mean that's just an example yeah, I know, I know and like it, I, I, I have no security or stability in my life, like I'm always one bad day away from complete and utter like ruin and collapse.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so you know, like it's a what it's a flat tire away from utter destruction. You know, then, that and that's not like that's not, that's not necessarily success. And and as far as, like you mentioned, like dreams and stuff like that, like my dreams, if you can call them, that are so like mundane right now, like survival is a dream, you know what I mean and that's like anything beyond that is like oh, holy shit, look at, look, who's eating little caesar's pizza today oh yeah you know, apparently there's something called Walk-In Wednesdays.
Speaker 2:Have you heard of this?
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 2:You get the pizza a lot cheaper on Wednesdays if you walk in and get it, I guess.
Speaker 3:What Really?
Speaker 2:Yeah, wednesdays, walk-in Wednesdays Damn, Remember that.
Speaker 3:I will remember that.
Speaker 2:How do you feel about your creative endeavors like podcasting and stuff? Do you view that as largely a failure? Do you view that as relatively successful, considering we still do it.
Speaker 3:Well, for me, no, I don't view it as a failure because I think the point wasn't like fame and monetary success, it was to make a podcast for me anyway. Anyway, and there's no like. I don't think that they're a wrong answer per se, um, but for me, I just wanted to, I just like making podcasts.
Speaker 1:I've been doing it for so long now that it's its own reason you know, yeah, yeah, I can piggyback on that and say the exact same thing. Um, I think it's neat, uh, whenever something kind of cool happens on even a small scale, where it's like, oh, this, this episode, we did got double the views that we normally get, for some reason, and that's cool that's awesome.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it is, it's really neat, um, but to that point, there, there are videos we've put out, there are podcasts we've put out, there are podcasts we've put out where, like if a dozen people consumed it, yeah and I don't care. And another reason I don't care is because I also see this as an analog of this time in our lives. It's almost kind of like a three-way diary of just where we are in life and even when we're not talking about like ourselves, we're not doing our mental wealth hellness check-in, we are kind of just exhibiting ourselves in this moment, even through the stupid jokes that we make and just observations we make, make and um, and just observations we make. So there could be a time, if I'm lucky enough to live to, you know, 85 and I'm just sitting around and be like remember the days and I go back and listen to it, just for the hell of it. You know that hopefully that will exist as a time capsule.
Speaker 1:Um, across I I hope, many, many years of us doing this, even if it's, you know, just for us later and not for anyone else. That is success to me, because that was the whole point. And um, and if nothing else, even though it's hard for us sometimes to to make the time to get together, um, or there are some times when I'm also just being honest that I don't want to do it. I'm like we're going to record tonight. I don't really feel like I want to, but then we start and I'm like it's my buddies, I just like talking to you guys, and so even if it's just an excuse for us to get on and do that, it's a success for me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, see, I consider like I thought about this question a lot whenever I wrote it and you know I could choose relationships. I have a string of failed relationships. Uh, talking about ryan, when you look at the common denominator, I actually had that conversation with one of my exes whenever we were in a fight. I was like it was towards the end of the relationship and I I could tell, and she could tell, and I was like I don't understand why all my relationships in this way? And she goes what's the common fucking factor, brandon? And like that stuck with me where I was like oh, it's, it is me, you know. And there's a uh kind of folk parody singer named tom larer larer, I think, is how you pronounce it and he has a quote where he says I'm not a bachelor, I've just skipped a few divorces and I feel like that's where I'm at. So I don't consider my string of relationships failure, because I've reached a point now where I feel like I don't need to be with somebody. I would like to be with somebody, but I don't need to be with somebody like I did throughout my 20s and early 30s, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so the thing that I picked that I failed at is also kind of what you suggested, david, the creative endeavors. You know I started a podcast before this one 12 years ago now, dueling Ogres my old podcast and I tried so fucking hard to get that thing off the ground and you know, we got we would have viewers and we had fans and we reached out and we made connections and stuff. Some people I connected through the podcast there who listen to this podcast now. You know, yeah, um, but it just it didn't go anywhere and then the whole thing just just fizzled out at the end. That's what gets me the most, so that's why I consider it a failure. It was two people involved in this. I'm trying not to get too incendiary. There were two people that did the podcast myself and my friend. I wanted the podcast to continue and he seemed to not want the podcast to continue and it fizzled without any discussion at all. So I consider that a failure on my part that I wasn't able to advocate for it more to continue in some capacity and we do. We stream on Twitch and stuff now you can watch that still where we do D&D.
Speaker 2:But I don't know. That's one of the things that I consider to be one of the biggest failures. And I mean again, I could also pick, like what you suggested as being a parent, ryan, my daughter I mentioned earlier. She doesn't come here because she saw a flea on my cat. I've treated my cat multiple times for fleas. I've cleaned everything. I don't see fucking fleas here. But she thinks there's fleas here here, so she doesn't want to come. So I see her when I go visit her, you know, and it sucks. I don't consider that a failure. I mean I can't control if there's a flea in here or not. You know I can clean everything. I can do the best I can. I keep my apartment as clean as possible yeah so I don't.
Speaker 2:I kind of went off on a tangent there. I apologize.
Speaker 3:No, no I think that's what we're talking about.
Speaker 1:It's absolutely relevant to to what we're talking about, and you know it is funny because I think this is in particular with Ryan, but also with kind of what you just said to Brandon. I think that, um, the view of failure for both of you is definitely a self-consciousness thing, because I look at both of you and I see a lot of success, like I I am, the aspects of each of your life. Um, Brian, I see you as um funny, kind, helpful person, and living a day in your life where I could be as good as you are in many of those ways is very attractive to me. Brandon, similar to you, um, there there are things that you do and say and, um, the way you live your life and the way that you, you project yourself. That I find to be, you know, very appealing as well. So are you?
Speaker 2:referring? Are you referring to my free wheel and razzmatazz?
Speaker 1:Mostly Um, that's about 95, 95 of about what I'm talking about. The other five percent is your sweet ass cat. So yeah yeah, no, but your cat's razzmatazz, I mean yeah yeah, well, his cat's razzmatazz has a lot to do with his razzmatazz.
Speaker 2:There's some crossover in those percentages she brings the razzmatazz, I bring the tazima yeah yeah, yeah, I agree, but no seriously like I.
Speaker 1:so I understand definitely the money thing like that that I I certainly get. But I'd also say you've had a lot of bad days I know you have because we talk about them and you haven't spiraled, you haven't broken, and there's something to be said about the success of your spirit even through indomitable times. So I don't think either of you are failures.
Speaker 2:You just get sick of like bad shit happening all the time.
Speaker 3:Of course, Of course that's I.
Speaker 2:every time something goes wrong like my, my constant refrain is I just need shit to stop happening yeah, well, like, and for me, I want to talk about it, but I feel like so much bad shit happens at once that if I talk about it, as it happens, I'm just constantly discussing. You just're just constantly a sad sack right and I don't want to do that, like I actively try to not be a sad sack.
Speaker 1:But you're not a sad sack. You are a happy sack and just because you talk about things that are happening in your life and if they are bad, it doesn't make you a sad sack Like it's the way you handle sad sack like it's it's it's the way you handle it on the other side of it. So you know it may seem like complaining, but you you can also talk about bad shit that happens to you. If it just so happens to happen to you 10 days in a row, then that's what happened to you.
Speaker 2:I don't yeah, but I mean you also have to be realistic that everybody has their own shit going on in their life. True.
Speaker 1:I guess who's the audience here. Like everyone you meet, yeah, ok.
Speaker 2:I thought you meant more like to us in this environment.
Speaker 1:I thought you meant more like to us and in this environment, because obviously we've kind of set aside a, an environment for all of us to be able to do this and oh yeah, of course, which is kind of a special and different thing that probably a lot of people don't have.
Speaker 2:Absolutely yeah. So I want to go to the next question then, because I know we're we've been going for a while already. Let's flip it over to what is something you have succeeded at, what is something you would consider you have success in your life about.
Speaker 1:I'll go again, since it's hard to say this because I'm not where I want to be, but I do feel like I have been successful in changing my life, uh, for the better, and maybe this goes along with your other question. But I I was successful in realizing that my life was not what I wanted it to be, both in the person that I was spending it with, um, and in my career or my current job, and so I decided to make some tough calls, uh, and basically, in a lot of ways, put myself through a lot of. It got a lot worse before it got a lot better, but in doing that, I realized that I can continue to make changes, even when they suck and they're hard, and so thus I've been through two divorces. Thus I've changed jobs a decent amount in the last five years, but it has gotten me to the point where I'm in a relationship where I'm completely happy and supported and in a job where I am completely happy and supported and it is providing me a platform to hopefully which is going to be hard, it's going to take a lot of time, more time than I expected, but hopefully find a dream life or at least like living in a place that also gives me happiness and support and a lifestyle that is different than the hectic, bullshit life that we all live in.
Speaker 1:Yeah, without you know saying too much. You know bullshit life that we all live in. Yeah, without you know saying too much. You know I want to live. I want to live a life where I'm making enough, can feel like I'm moving toward a day that, you know, if it's not retirement, it's at least like slowing down even more at some point in my life and just enjoy the years that I have with my family and my friends and not think about a lot of the things we've been talking about all the time, like I mean, look at me, if you knew me over the last 20 years, at different stages in my life I was broke as fuck. I was miserable within my relationship. I was miserable in my jobs, didn't feel like I had any prospects, felt completely out of control, and I was successful in taking some of that control and changing my life to where I find incremental levels of peace.
Speaker 1:Am I at peace all the time? Do I have no worries? Of course not, but I'm finding those incremental steps and now, finally, for the first time, I feel like I have a platform and honestly I feel like if LP uh Bob duck, quack uh job that I work at now went away tomorrow, it would fucking suck. But I feel supported enough now to know that I would find the next thing that I needed to do, or I could work, or I could work at Walmart and flip burgers, and go work at my my friend's uh business and do that for a couple of months until I found a job and make sure that we're getting by like I. I don't feel as desperate and scared of the little losses or even the big losses as much as I used to. So that's I've. I've given myself that much success. Um, and yeah, that's the answer. I guess that was long-winded, I'm sorry no, you're fine, fuck yeah, successful david yeah I would consider you a successful person I appreciate like from the outside.
Speaker 2:I would consider you a successful person, ryan. What's something you've been successful with and you better give me an answer, bub um, well, I, I have, I okay.
Speaker 3:Well, one thing that I did that I succeeded at was, um, I actually achieved, uh, black belt status, and that was great answer I mean that was very difficult and yeah, not, it was so wild to me and this says something a lot about, like um, my personal flavor of trauma where I had um, because usually, like what, what happens is you take the test and then, like it takes them a few days to like tabulate your performance score and all that other stuff, so like you don't know right away if you have succeeded.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and so I took the test and I very obviously succeeded and I was sitting there like on, I remember, sitting on the edge of my bed, but now now comes the worst part the, the waiting, and then my then at the time girlfriend comes in and she was like hey, you did such a good job, you totally did it, you passed you, you, mr tough guy, mr black belt, and I was like I don, you did such a good job, you totally did it, you passed you, mr Tough guy, mr Black belt, and I was like I don't know that, I don't know that I passed. Yet she was like you did perfectly, you did everything perfectly, like you would definitely did. But my brain was still like you don't know that, of course.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:It doesn't matter that you'll, they'll find a way, yeah, and by they I mean, like the universe, I don't know. Yeah, um, but I mean, obviously, like I said, I ultimately I was successful and, you know, went on to teach for many years and do all kinds of fun stuff with that aspect of my life before, uh, that imploded. But, um, because I don't know if you guys know this or not, but one of the hardest things about having a long martial arts career is dojos are not a very lucrative business, so sometimes they just shut down, yeah, yeah, or or they fall victim to um, a lot of drama because you ain't about that dojo life until you've had a talk, sensei, just saying so it's ego.
Speaker 2:Is there ego involved then?
Speaker 3:Yeah, big time In my sensei, who is the best sensei in the world and also the best sensei that I've personally ever had, is listening right now. So she knows that that is a very real problem, not with her, obviously, but with other uh senseis that exist.
Speaker 3:so, yeah, yeah it's so what you're saying is cobra kai is a documentary I mean okay, so yes but, instead of instead of solving their problems through fighting, which would be a lot easier, and I have advocated for in the past just let people fight. Just let people fight. Let's solve all kinds of shit. You know someone's being shitted to you. You can, you can get fought, so be nice, you know anyway um Ryan would you do that.
Speaker 1:Go ahead what Nope? Finish the thoughts.
Speaker 3:Instead of doing that shit, they just get catty and shitty with each other. Yeah, uh, what were?
Speaker 1:you going to say I was going to. I made you a t-shirt that said let's karate about it.
Speaker 3:I like that phrase, that's for sure. Yes, absolutely I like that. But yeah, in that area I was ultimately and I kept like my brain kept looking for reasons why I couldn't date this, where I was like, well, you know, everybody makes you, so they probably took it easy on you like no yeah you did all the things you were supposed to do, and um, and did them successfully.
Speaker 3:And then it's like, well, did someone help you? It's like no, it was literally just me out there, like I was the only person out there, except for the other people that I had to fight, and uh, so no, but my brain kept like trying to like cycle through all these things where it's like how can we invalidate this, this success of yours?
Speaker 2:yeah, yeah so I want to, oh, with me. I would consider myself successful at being a parent. There's stuff that I've done as a father, like I joke with my kid and I'm like you know. There's stuff that I've probably done or said that you're gonna file away in your brain and be like, well, that's gonna be therapy someday. Dad and I was like you know, just by the nature of being a parent. There's stuff that I'm going to say that's probably hurt your feelings, that you're going to be therapy someday. Dad and I was like you know, just by the nature of being a parent. There's stuff that I'm going to say that's probably hurt your feelings, that you're going to confront me on, but overall, like I feel like I'm a good parent.
Speaker 2:She's taken care of. I've got a two bedroom place specifically so she has a place now, uh, when she needs to stay, you know everything I do as far as planning for the future revolves around having a place that can support having her for as long as she needed or wanted to stay with me. You know I never think about moving and getting a one bedroom somewhere. It's always a father and, ryan, I would say that you are successful as a father as well, I think you're way too hard on yourself. That's part of the nature of this podcast. Is telling you you're too hard on yourself and I know that it comes up of this podcast is telling you you're too hard on yourself.
Speaker 3:And I know that it comes up a lot, doesn't it? It does it doesn't.
Speaker 2:it doesn't really affect you, probably as far as hearing that, but you're a good dad, you know you think of some of the shit, that some of the people that we saw in junior high, the kids- like how they lived and their parents lived.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you're a good parent, I agree. Well, thanks, hands down. Um, I mean, I consider, as far as like, like my, my kids are good people and, uh, they are fulfilled and interesting and morally upright and care about others. So so, in that regard, I consider I have been a successful parent to them, as far as like the element of teaching them how to human.
Speaker 1:That alone is a lot more than most people do, or not most people? But, a lot of people do with their kids.
Speaker 2:And my final question do you feel like your failures have made you more resilient?
Speaker 3:In a weird way. I think so Because it's cliche to be like.
Speaker 2:Well, you know, the failures will make you stronger. I feel like that's very cliche to say, and it's kind of I kind of get sick of it when people say that shit to me. Yeah, absolutely. Because I'd rather not deal with it and be weak, I guess.
Speaker 3:Well, it's not even it's not even that, it's like for. For me anyway, it's like oh, I guess this didn't kill me.
Speaker 3:I guess I'll learn to live with this, because yeah and that was like a weird lesson for me, because I I went through a horrific uh divorce twice and it I remember the first time it happened I was like like I'll, I don't know that I can go through this, like I don't know that I can survive this. And then then I fucking did yeah. And then when it happened again I was like this sucks, but I know it's not enough to fucking kill me, so I guess we'll just keep going.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree with that. I don't know that it made me more resilient. I think it made me wiser, um, maybe know what to avoid or how to live my life in a way where I wouldn't have to repeat, um, the the bigger failures. Uh, you know, the relationship thing keeps coming up. Uh, you know, I don't really have the fear of that happening, um, again. But I also knew that if I was going to enter in to a marriage again, you know that it I would only do it if it was with the right person and there was only one right person and there was a right choice and it was an easy and obvious choice. But I don't think if it was, if I didn't have that right choice person, I'm pretty sure I'd never get married again. Yeah, so I don't think that makes me person.
Speaker 2:I'm pretty sure I'd never get married again. Yeah.
Speaker 1:So I don't think that makes me resilient, I think that makes me wise and, if anything, makes me more afraid to go through the pain and suffering of certain situations again, if that makes sense.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it does. I was trying to think of an analogy, but I couldn't think of anything that didn't sound like an early 2000s emo song.
Speaker 1:Well then, say something that sounds like an early 2000s emo song.
Speaker 2:So your back is just covered in scars, right?
Speaker 1:I don't know this reference.
Speaker 2:It's not a reference, I'm just saying it sounds like something that would be.
Speaker 1:It does very much so, because I thought it was real.
Speaker 3:Now I can reference all kinds of stuff though, if you want some Taking Back Sunday, some Brand Now, that would be great. I only know that one song that was on the Spider-Man sound, I don't remember what it was called.
Speaker 2:So I have. I'm bringing back a thing that we haven't done in a while and it was a fan favorite feature. And I say it's a fan favorite feature because it was my feature, so I want to pretend that it's a fan favorite. So do we want to do this first or do we want to wrap up the failure topic first?
Speaker 1:Can I? Interject with something just real quick, sweetly, ryan, I'm gonna look at you specifically for this one, because you're up here for me, ryan I was gonna say that's brandon I want to let you too. I want to let you know that I'm gonna look at dave I want to let you know this hasn't actually been a podcast. You've been set up from the start. You're actually on. Dave wears douchey sunglasses until ryan says something, and you never said something. You've been douched. You've been douched by dave I.
Speaker 3:I want you to know. Obviously I recognized you wearing aviator sun. I assumed my first thought was honest to god the truth. My first thought was he probably has something on his computer screen and that he's gonna read later, and so he doesn't want us because I know that a lot of times people who do like youtube videos. They'll wear sunglasses so people can't see their eyes like trace across the screen. So that's what I honestly assumed. I assumed you were being professional.
Speaker 1:Oh, and then I did that to you instead.
Speaker 2:I got to say you can really pull off the sunglasses while you record.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they matched your overall vibe, I feel right, that's what I was saying.
Speaker 2:He looks like a cooler Jimmy Buffett.
Speaker 1:Well, maybe I should start. Maybe I should start wearing them while we record. I'll just wear a different Hawaiian shirt and those sunglasses, or a different pair of aviators every time we record from now on, you can, I mean I wear.
Speaker 3:You want me to call you?
Speaker 1:Iceman, you may call me Iceman.
Speaker 3:If you go back and look at all our videos, I'm literally wearing the same thing in all of them, because I largely wear the same thing.
Speaker 1:Every day, my co-worker informs me that this is because I'm autistic as hell. Wow, Thank you, co-worker. It's true, but you've got a good outfit, though. It's definitely your costume. It's like the Ryan.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what are you doing over there? You doing something weird. I'm laughing at you, oh, um. So yeah, uh, let's wrap up the topic and then do your thingy. Do you agree, ryan?
Speaker 2:Yeah, sure Go. All right, that's good, cause Ryan's the one that wraps it up. So, ryan, fuck.
Speaker 3:Fuck, I thought, for sure, gotcha.
Speaker 2:Fuck so wrap up failure.
Speaker 3:Explain to us not just failure but the plot of Treasure Island.
Speaker 2:Well, it's kind of funny you mention that because Treasure.
Speaker 3:Island is actually kind of about failure if you think about it. Like long gone silver ultimately fails in that movie, in the, the, or the movie in that book, and fuck, what's the name of the? What was the name of the pirate from the beginning? Billy bones, I can't remember, but that whole thing hinges on the fact that he fucking failed. But I mean, if you think about like like I don't know, like all great, you know mythological figures have some element of them. You can even look at like King Arthur, or even Luke Skywalker or Neo, you know failure is just it's inevitable, isn't it? And I don't mean that in like a nihilistic term, I just mean that, like Bruce Lee said, like nobody wins every fight. You know what I mean. So like I think, if you never fail, you never know how to deal with failure. It's the Kobayashi Maru. Are you familiar with that?
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3:Yep, for our listeners who aren't fucking dorks. In Star Trek there's this test called the Kobayashi Maru, which is a completely unwinnable scenario, and the test is designed to be unwinnable and you cannot pass it, and it's designed specifically to teach you how to handle failure, and it's something that I think, like a lot of people just don't do because we were. You know, we're a success based Like failure is punished in our society.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I think that's fair to say, like, if you fail, like, oh well, you're fucked, your business is you're done, or your, you know, circumstances are beyond repair. So, whatever, like failure, is ultimately punished in our society Rather than, like you know, learned from ultimately Right, rather than, like you know, learned from ultimately right. And I think, like that's the, the, the, as, as yoda put it in the last jedi, failure is the ultimate teacher. And you know, as long as you allow yourself to like, actually learn the lesson from your failure, then then it wasn't really wasted, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And the the old adage. In there's an old, I think it's, I think it's a samurai proverb. It's like if you fall down seven times, stand up eight. And and so like when you, when you you don't in that capacity like you don't fail until you stop standing up. You know what I mean. It's like you can keep getting knocked down, but as long as you, like I said, you learn. You take that lesson and get back up again.
Speaker 2:Chumbalumba style yeah exactly, Brandon.
Speaker 3:thank you for that, Although you know what's funny is. When you said that, in my mind I pictured Smash Mouth.
Speaker 2:No, because you get back down, I know.
Speaker 3:You fall back down, but you get back up again Pissing the night away, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, or is it pissing his life away, pissing the night?
Speaker 3:away, night away.
Speaker 1:Pissing the night away.
Speaker 3:Anyway, yeah, okay, I'm going to stop now. You don't fail until you stop trying, you know.
Speaker 1:Exactly, and even then you can still learn from it.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, and I think that's ultimately like with this episode. What I wanted to do I know just us focusing on things that we think we failed at isn't the cheeriest episode, but I kind of hoped and I feel like we did sort of go through and view our failures from another angle. You know, I agree View our perceived failures from another angle.
Speaker 1:I agree.
Speaker 2:And I think that's important, for if we're bringing a little bit of mental hellness to our listeners, I think that's something that you should do occasionally is try to look at your failures from a different aspect and think know, even though I failed at this thing, how can I not only learn from it but try to spin it into a success next time? Because, at least for me, it's easy for me to be like well, I failed. I think it's a gifted kid thing.
Speaker 3:You know, I failed, so obviously I'm never going to succeed at it, fuck it yeah so it's hard to do I understand like you want to be good at stuff and and it. We and I don't know if it's a generational thing or if, like you said, it's a gifted kid thing or whatever, but there's this, this element of like. If, if I can't instantly be good at this thing, out the gate, then I have clearly I'm, I have already failed, I have, I'm humiliated, obviously, and so yeah yeah, I own four stringed instruments that I don't know how to play, four separate types of stringed instruments that I've intended to try to learn and I haven't guitar banjo, ukulele, mandolin no, mandolin, bass, bass guitar is my other one, uh, but anyway, let's bring back this topic or this uh segment thing I segment.
Speaker 2:thank you for the hey, now you gotta stop. Hey, would you eat it? And the thing is, this time caffeinated ramen noodles. They're called boost noodles. Oh my god, they come in a. Have you ever seen the applesauce? You can get in a squeeze container and and slurp it on the go.
Speaker 1:I hate what I'm hearing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like that, but they're caffeinated ramen noodles. They're made for gamers, so you can game with one hand while you slurp with the other.
Speaker 1:Okay, I hate the premise. They're called Boost Noodles, boost Noodles.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Now if they were called Noodle Boosters?
Speaker 2:I'd be boosters, then I'd eat them nudes noodle booster sounds like something you'd call like a cute little like oh, you love noodle booster, brandon brandon, it's obviously like street viagra.
Speaker 3:Yeah, exactly what I was like.
Speaker 1:that's exactly what I was thinking. Exactly, ryan got it.
Speaker 2:I guess I'm too innocent for my own good.
Speaker 3:I guess you made it cute. I liked it. I need 20 of noodle boosters.
Speaker 1:Can you ask the guy behind the 7-Eleven 21 now? What did you say? Say it louder. You think 21? Noodle boosters. Noodle boosters. Noodle boosters I know you heard me.
Speaker 2:So caffeinated ramen, you think you'd try it for a quick boost of energy on the go.
Speaker 3:No, I'm not going to eat noodles out of a pouch, really Okay. That's where you draw the line with noodles? Yeah, I don't think. I mean, I don't think it would taste good in this particular instance, oh no.
Speaker 2:It would be like a slurry, a sluice of noodles.
Speaker 1:So are they? I have a lot of questions about this without looking at the product. Are they long? Are they long? Are they like in there?
Speaker 2:long and you just hope that they kind of like line up with the end and get it like. It looks like they are so soaked. Okay, so you know like, imagine chicken noodle soup like Campbell's chicken noodle soup. You know how the noodles are so soft that they might as well not even have texture at all. They just like smush it looks like that.
Speaker 1:So you kind of swallow them more than you do chew them.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, there's no chewing involved.
Speaker 1:Here's the thing I am not a fan of this. Here's the thing I have no problem with noodles being in a pouch, that doesn't bother me. I have no problem with them being caffeinated that's cool. That doesn't bother me. I have no problem with them being caffeinated, that's cool. Where I'm drawing the line is definitely going to be the texture thing, because I do think. And also, do you heat these up or do you drink them cold?
Speaker 2:Room temperature.
Speaker 1:No, yeah. So I would want some heat to them. If they had at least a little bit of texture and they had a little bit of heat to them, I'd be fine with it. But the texture and the room temperature aspect of it is not. What flavor are they? Are they like chicken and beef, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Pork, I don't think there's multiple flavors, I think it's just one flavor it's just noodle.
Speaker 3:It's just noodle flavored. What flavor is this vegetable?
Speaker 2:any specific one, or just no. Just the idea of vegetables is what it tastes like that's the concept of vegetables yeah, that's actually a real life scenario.
Speaker 3:We got a bunch of food donated into our uh, into our program and one was just a can that said vegetable. And I was like what the fuck is this? And so ultimately I someone pointed out, dude, it's vegetable soup. And I was like, oh, I thought this was just a can of vegetable that's amazing.
Speaker 1:It was like some kind of government created vegetable, vegetable 43 are we gonna do a gray matter, munchies, david or? Uh, we've been going long. We might as well do a quick one, yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:So I'm feeling mighty peckish. Sometimes you need to watch stuff for your brain. I don't have it memorized and I don't have it in front of me. So you know, go back and listen to one where I was prepared. And now let's talk about what we've been consuming for our mental hellness. Ryan, what have you been consuming for your mental hellness?
Speaker 3:Okay, have you been consuming for your mental illness?
Speaker 2:uh, okay, so I just uh plowed through the uh two seasons of the ring of rings of power oh yeah, uh, which was fucking awesome dude, I've heard so many people be like rings of power and shitting on tolkien's grave those people don't know tolkien.
Speaker 3:This is the amazon one right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the new amazon show okay, yeah, those people don't know, tolkien, this is the amazon one, right, yeah, the new amazon show.
Speaker 3:Okay, yeah, those people don't know tolkien for one thing and for another thing. They're actually just mad because black and elves and they don't want to say that right, yeah, yeah, I could see that so mad about there being black dwarves and I was like, well, all their fucking dwarves and elves, they're magical creatures. They can look like whatever the fuck. We want them to look like dog, yeah.
Speaker 1:Also, there's lots of media where there are actually specific races of elves that are dark-skinned. So come on.
Speaker 3:They've been around forever, it's not weird? And then the same thing with dwarves. Same thing with dwarves in fantasy, yeah, exactly, but the show is. I recommend it. It's fucking awesome. It's metal as hell as lord of the rings often is um, it is good and, yeah, I, I thoroughly enjoyed it yeah and actually I.
Speaker 3:Some characterizations are closer to the the book versions, like elrond half elvin, for example, is uh much closer to his characterization in the books than he is in Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings trilogy, and that's not. That's not a criticism, it's just an observation.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I and I've been watching this and I've been watching, like there's a, a YouTube channel that I I trust the research and background of quite a bit. It's called new rock stars. I don't know if you've ever heard of it or watched it. Well, we've been watching it, along with their take on it, and there definitely are some things that have been changed in the show. Of course, that happens all the time and some of the things kind of big changes, but I don't think it's enough to where it's detracting from the history and and lore of tolkien or anything. So are you current on it? Yeah, I've seen. I've seen it all.
Speaker 3:so you've seen the season finale, okay? So some people were bent out of shape about that particular character showing up, because canonically he's not supposed to show up for like until the third age, and I was like, oh okay, well, have you considered it's Awesome?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it is awesome.
Speaker 2:Was it Boba Fett?
Speaker 1:It was Boba Fett, it was.
Speaker 2:Yeah, sorry to spoil Jack Sparrow, jack Packhead.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sorry to spoil, it actually was Iron man, oh yeah, yeah. Same thing. Um, it actually was iron man, but oh, yeah, yeah, same thing. Really, I'd love. I'd love a good crossover. Yeah, well, disney's good for art. This wasn't a disney production, but I feel like you know those characters we just mentioned were so, um, yeah, yeah, what have you been? What have you been? What are you munching on over there, a little muncher I've been playing no man's sky.
Speaker 2:Still a bunch, an insane amount really. Um, when you don't work and you have nothing else to do besides for jobs, I mean, how long does applying for jobs really take? You know, everything's fucking done online anymore. I can spend hours putting in online applications but at the end of the day, I still have hours free to myself and that's being taken up with no man's sky right on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um, a big expansion just came out for no man's sky a few weeks ago.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah they added they're working on a new game called light no fire and they're like backwards. They're taking the tech from light no Fire and putting it into no Man's Sky Like the water. They just had a huge water update so the water looks crazy. Now it looks really good. So they added fishing. It sounds boring as shit, but it's actually pretty fun.
Speaker 1:I mean, there's a lot of people that love the game.
Speaker 3:That's not boring. That's not boring, that's soothing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a cozy game, as they like to call it. Now it is, and you can still fly around your spaceship and shoot pirates too, if you want to.
Speaker 3:So I just decorated my camp in fallout 70s hollow nice, nice hell yeah, all right, so that's all I've been consuming.
Speaker 2:David, have you been consuming anything?
Speaker 1:uh, yeah, so we watched uh the rest of the um um rings of power series, like, like I said, uh, we're watching uh agatha all along right now, which I need to watch that yeah, you do, it's pretty good.
Speaker 1:I've actually enjoyed it more than I thought I would. It's it's very hokey, um, as they kind of made agatha's character in wandavision. You know that definitely that vibe carries over um and there's a lot of musical numbers in it and stuff like that. Uh, but I think they did it in a really, really entertaining and good way, so far at least. Um, and there's some good little mysteries in there and Aubrey Plath's character. At first I was like I don't know if I'm going to like this, but they're actually what they do with her and I think where it's headed is going to be really, really interesting and cool. So I highly recommend that. Show-wise, I can't think of anything else of note.
Speaker 1:I've been playing a lot of video games. Beat the Hell Out of Animal Well, which I could do an entire episode on Just that. That is an amazing, beautiful pixel art puzzle, side-scrolling, platforming puzzle game that just has so many depths and layers of puzzles. It's a little tiny metroidvania on the surface and then there's another crazy level that beyond that there's another crazy level and there's still probably a lot of stuff that people haven't even discovered yet. And I heard a podcast called the besties that's got the malkaroy brothers in it, um, um. And one of the things they said where they weren't trying to give away any secrets about this game. They said it actually enters into your world, and I thought what they meant by that was that you would think about it a lot or there'd be some ARG type of shit.
Speaker 1:But there's a moment, if you do something in the game, where it affects your world without you expecting it, and it was the most buck, wild thing, um, that I've ever seen a video game do, and I still think about it to this to this day. And I actually have something. I always, always want to pull something off of my shelf, that's like right up here, and show it to you. But again, I don't want to ruin it for anyone, just in case it ever, um, yeah, in case you guys want to play it, because that is, that is. I don't want to spoil that moment, because that's one of those like what the fuck just happened? What did you just do, are you?
Speaker 1:are you serious game, uh kind of thing, and there's lots of those moments, but that one in particular was just kind of buck wild, um, so that kind of got us on a puzzle game trip. Uh, so been playing um, the witness a lot, um, and that's really good in different ways, like that's one of those games where just it's it's mind-bending and then you solve a puzzle or you finally think, oh, I know what the game wants me to do here and you do it and it works, and you're like what the fuck? Um? And been playing inscription. I've been playing uh, noita, um, what else I need to? I need to go and beat baldur's gate 3.
Speaker 2:I haven't played that for a while, but you know a game you need to check out. I know I always make suggestions, but this is one that's been getting a lot of press. You might have even heard about it already. It it's called UFO 50.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I've been thinking about picking it up. Yeah, 50 different small games that kind of tell one big story and have puzzles and stuff.
Speaker 2:Like a fake production company that made these games.
Speaker 1:It does sound cool. I do think I want to pick that up actually. And then there's a game that Ryan needs to get so that we can all play together, because Brandon and I played it the other night, and that game is called Para. What's it called? Phasmophobia?
Speaker 2:Phasmophobia.
Speaker 1:It is a terrible game and an awesome game all at the same time. You want to describe it real quick, Brandon.
Speaker 2:So you're basically ghost hunters. You show up in a truck and you have a bunch of ghost hunting tools that you can take and you equip them on your person and you go into a house and turn on the lights and you have black lights to see if there's ghost handprints and you find all kinds of weird stuff and then the house perpetually gets more haunted. Like you have a ghost journal that you look at to be like okay, uh, the ghost is doing x, y and z, so obviously we're dealing with an angry jinn, stuff like that. Um, that's all stuff that we didn't figure out, david, I know no, we were just in the house dying over and over.
Speaker 2:But yeah, it's a fun game and if you got it, Ryan, I don't know if you'd be able to run it, but I don't think it's very intensive.
Speaker 3:So what is it on?
Speaker 1:PC. I thought it was cross-platform. Did we just go through that?
Speaker 2:It is coming out at the end of this month on ps5.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, I'll look into it. I might be able to play with you guys on. If it's cross platform, then yes, okay, cool, or if your system could run it, because it's not too intense, I think. I mean, it's like very not intense actually, like as far as like a performance standpoint is concerned, but, um, in in-game lore, brandon and I are twin brothers and uh, so we think that we should, in-game lore discover that we have a triplet, and that would be you, of course, and oh, we can, we can make that work for sure, and maybe we could even record a special little episode for our viewers and listeners as well.
Speaker 2:I would love to do that.
Speaker 1:I would absolutely love to do that. That would be fun, all right, well, this is an hour and a half long episode.
Speaker 2:All right, well, do you guys have anything else you want to say? Anything, you need to get off your big muscly chest before we finish this episode.
Speaker 3:No, that I know of.
Speaker 2:All right, Well, until we record again. I've been your host for this episode, Brandon Fulch, Shepherd of the Forest.
Speaker 3:And I have been your very best friend, Ryan Brown.
Speaker 1:And I'm the man kissed by all angels, david Musgrave, and we're probably not okay.